Monday, September 3, 2007

Discovered under Bed *

1 copy Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, W.S. Merwin translation

1 yellow Montegrappa fountain pen (presumed lost)

1 USB cable

1 active wall outlet supplementary fixture with leads to wi-fi router and printer

1 wall outlet supplementary fixture with two plugs which do not seem to connect anything to anything else

1 copy The Viking Portable Library Portable Ring Lardner

1 black nylon gym bag with American Express logo on side, containing approximately $500 in quarters, dimes, nickels, and pennies

1 shriveled grape

1 pair nail clippers presumed lost

1 enormous dust bunny

1 copy Christine Falls by Benjamin Black (whom we all know is John Banville)

2 moderate-sized dust bunnies

1 small pile of either spong or termite leavings

1 copy Harper's Magazine

1 necktie mailing envelope from Ben Silver, Charleston, SC

1 pair collar stays from Charles Tyrwhitt, Jermyn Street, London

*This is a goodly amount to discover under a bed, even for me, and as a consequence I resolve to find suitable places for all these items before the night progresses. I persist in thinking that the interior shelves of a person's refrigerator reveals more about a person than the contents on any given day of what may be found under that person's bed, nevertheless; this is a stunning amount.


Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Ohh. . You made me laugh!
I have been thinking two or make it three days, that I should find a right place to things, which are "under the bed", but an inspiration is not yet strong enough!

Good Tuesday to you and greetings from Finland!

John Eaton said...

Very stylish underbeddage, Shelly.

lettuce said...

i love your lists shelly.
Especially when they include spong.

tho' i'd have thought termite leavings might constitute spong.

so, you keep your money under the mattress?

Lori Witzel said...

OMG. If I were to list the Contents of What's Under Our Bed, I'd need to call the Discovery Channel and make sure we had a documentary crew to record the unbelievability of it all.

While Brillat-Savarin would claim to know who one was by deduction from the contents of a fridge, I wonder if Bachelard would divine the angels and devils whispering in our ears from what hides under one's bed.