Things We Can Do Without

...or at least, I can:

1. Mosquitoes. Okay, they have a purpose. I mean beyond biting me and propagating. But still, I can stand the notion of passing great lengths of time without even thinking of them, much less being bitten by them.

2. Newspaper features that tell you cutely what you already know.

3. Cranky waitpersons. They have a right to think poorly of humanity and I applaud their right to do so, but not when I am dining at their station--unless I have performed some outrageous gesture.

4. Cranky diners. It is one thing to have to go out because there is not even canned chili in the larder, but get over it. You may already have infected the wait person.

5. The comma splice. Persons who use them--except in poetry-- should be kicked out of graduate school

6. The word "very."

7. State of the Union speeches, regardless of the party of the incumbent.

8. Persons who tell us that it is nice to see us. The substitution of the word good for nice makes all the difference.

9. Telemarketers who, although complete strangers to us, begin their pitch by asking us how we are.

10. Year-old (or worse) news magazines in doctor's offices, hair salons, and automotive repair spas.


I have no idea what F.L means, although I like the notion of this blue paint being a kind of first draft by Bruce Caron, a man who wanted to paint a blue line through Santa Barbara, showing the portions that could be lost when the polar caps melt. The Caron Line was fervently opposed by--you guessed--real estate brokers, who claimed it would have an unduly harsh effect on property values. Go, Bruce!