The Five Stages of Rejection for a Writer

1. Denial. There must be some mistake. This is my finest story to date. Anyone who appreciates literature can recognize the inherent depth and grace of this work.

2. Anger. How could they not accept this while at the same time taking on so many lesser, derivative works?

3. Bargaining. If they'd only read the note accompanying the manuscript or any one of the seventeen emails I sent, they'd recognize how perfect this story is for them.

4. Depression. I don't know why I waste all the time, energy, and considerable costs of postage. Emily Dickinson was right

5. Payback Acceptance. They simply don't get it,otherwise they'd have emailed or phoned just to make sure it was still available. Wouldn't want to appear in so insensitive a venue anyway, where all my friends would see and immediately wonder, Why are you allowing THEM to use your story? Pure exploiters, they are, I'll send the story to a more suitable place. Really.