The feel of chemistry at work on some part of your being
reminds you once again of being alive.
Not that you weren’t alive before or that you needed the prod of a
reminder; you were in fact responding and interacting to other chemistries in
which other forces, attractions, itches, yearnings, and sounds were a
metaphoric swarm of cicada, humming and chirping the chamber music of a Summer
night,
There is always a chemical reaction going on somewhere,
inside of you and out, in places where you are and in places you see only in
film and photography or other forms of art. It is a rare hour, much less a day,
when you do not feel the pull, sometimes gnawing, other times poking.
The other day, there was an enormous chemistry between you
and a braunschwiger and pickle sandwich, a chemical inheritance from your late
pal, Digby Wolfe. Today there was
chemistry with a bunch of clematis and puffy pink hydrangeas left you by Lupe,
the cleaning lady, and the discovered chemistry of a Face Book friend and
former student, who’d changed her picture, reminding you how far beyond the
reaction between elements and matter chemistry extends.
Because of your experiences working for a range of
publishing ventures, in which a part of your job was reading and evaluating
your responses to manuscripts and proposals, you have an awareness of chemistry
to some degree beyond the ordinary reaction to a story or narrative. You can often tell within a matter of a few
paragraphs if there is chemistry worth pursuing. Of course the same “guidelines” emerge in
your dealings with people, and of course there have been times with manuscripts
and people where your first sense of a lack of chemistry has misled you.
The implications of chemistry remind you that you are much
like a satellite in orbit, sending signals out to be picked up and that you as
well have receptors in places you’re aware of but other places where there is
less specificity to the point where you venture “a gut feeling” or express “a
visceral response” depending on the circumstances.
Analogy and metaphor proliferate as in the dropped calls
many of your cellphone friends experience or the times during peak transmission
hours when computers, gasping for bandwidth, take longer to download signals or
sites.
What determines the sense of chemistry you feel toward a
person or a book or a story? Why do some
dogs and cats seem to treat you as members of the same pack while others still
are wary of you or aggressive toward you?
What are the attractions between the elements that are you and
the elements in, say, noir fiction? Why
is there so much nourishment in a particular smile and the appearance of so
little in another more perfect or dentally enhanced smile?
You know a bit about the signals flowers and plants send
out, attracting bees and other insects to visit, thus engaging in a kind of
ongoing orgy wherein pollens and seeds and spores are exchanged in a flurry of
chemistry. This causes you to reflect on
the warp and weft of your own day and your part in this vaster-than-Wikileaks exchange
of information and fertilization.
Individuals with whom you feel no chemistry might
nevertheless deliver to you a phrase, a word, and attitude. You’ve been at particular pains to work on
this aspect of your behavior, hopeful of demonstrating to the world and to
yourself and such individuals as you contact that youth is well served, youth
is lovely and bright, and yes, outstanding in its beauty, but so are the rest
of us.
Sometimes, rereading something you’ve been working on, you
are impressed by the black hole of indifference that has swallowed up the
chemistry and spat out the dross. You
look for ways to move the furniture, to remove the friction between words and
ideas, bringing verbs as though nosegays for high school sweethearts, ideas as
bouquets, figures of speech as arrangements, turning the bunch of violets,
which as such things go, were sweetness personified into a dimension of color
and shape and scent and meaning.
There are words and phrases you consider the equivalent of
weeds. Attempting to avoid these have
startling effects on your style, your voice, the way you see things. There are other words, often onomatopoetic,
you must be on your guard to use sparingly lest they take the focus away from
your overall intent and call attention to themselves as the expensive flowers
in the arrangement.
The right word. The
right sentence. The right paragraph and
page and narrative. All these elements
owe explanation to the word “right,” which may well be your chemistry and some
other person’s annoyance.
Go forth about your day and your days, broadcasting your
chemistry, but do not neglect to absorb the ongoing orgy.
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