Who's in Charge?

 Difficult to recall now which came first. Was it your awareness that you are inhabited by a number of selves, some of whom may be quite at odds with other aspects of you? Or was it from your ongoing awareness of the need to create numerous and varied characters, most of whom were not at all like you that caused you to reflect on your own multiple personalities?

Not to worry about you being one of those clinical sorts whose main self, the driver, if you will, is unaware when other aspects of self take over. You're pretty much in contact with a large number selves, of aspects of you, even at times when one is leading the charge, thinking, ah yes, that would be the seventeen-year-old-rebel taking over, wanting in effect to drive the family car.

Important to keep in mind how, even when there is a licensed adult at the wheel of the car, there is no guarantee whatsoever that there won't be a bunch of kids in the back seat, carrying on the way kids in back seats often carry on.  He hit me. Hit her back. Hey, why did you hit my back?

The point being that control or steering by the consensus leader, the aspect of you at the helm you want to be driving, is often subject to momentary take-over or flat out abdication. This take-over is either pure whim or perhaps even purer accident. 

In any case, you find yourself still in motion, hurtling toward a recognizable destination or goal, but instead of an uneventful outcome, you are somehow aware of being on a collision course with something or someone or both.

A number of your university courses in political science emphasized to your awareness how lonely a business leadership can be, how fraught with the need for decision and purpose, even in the face of indecision or abandoned purpose. The you in charge has enough experience to map out strategies when needed, to consult when needed, and to seek information or help beyond the boundaries of your ability to accomplish a goal.

The you in charge, much given at one time in his life, to playing poker, has learned such strategies as bluffing, folding, or raising the ante, traits you still find yourself using in real time, in setting characters of your creation loose within a story, or within yet another dangerous battlefield, the classroom.

You approach all such activities with a quickening pulse and a sense of excitement because of your interest in outcomes and how behavior is interpreted by differing scales of humanity. In consequence, most of your days tend to have discovery if not excitement as a significant field of battle or confrontation.Days with little of either tend to drag; days with excesses of either or both seem to become regarded as fraught times, dramatic times, indeed, story times.

This is the same subtext with which you attempt to endow the characters you create, having learned from dismal failures how such traits as mildness, accommodation, and flexibility do not propel characters to do things of note or interest in story.You do recognize the qualities of mildness, accommodation, and flexibility as vital social traits, which is fine for Real Time, which is where you try to keep them.