Sunday, November 11, 2007

Son of a Subtext

1. A keepable page a day is a book a year

2. A list is a menu of impending frustration.

3. Frustration is a diploma awarded to overprogrammers and other type A personalities.

4. A list is the first step to type A personality.

5. Why Bother is a menu of impending frustration.

6. There has to be a middle ground or you're screwed whether you do or don't.

7. How about the occasional scrawled note?

8. Not bad.

9. A scrawled note a day is a messy pocket.

10. Since when are you concerned about your pockets?

11. A messy pocket precludes a messy desk.

12. So you say.

13. There is no know correlation, damnit, between a messy desk and a book a year.

14. Part of the mess on your desk comes from books.

15. Part of the mess in your car comes from books.

16. A messy desk is a recipe for frustration.

17. Is there a reason why you have ants in your car but not on your desk? (No fair blaming Sally.)

18. In spite of what the ads promise, Leopard will not notably improve your life.

19. A neat desk will not notably improve your life.

20. It is difficult to maintain a sense of humor about a messy desk.

21. It is a good thing that the individuals who contrived the Wechsler-Belleview test didn't include questions about messy desks.

22. It is all right not to remember what as many as twenty percent of the notes on your messy desk mean.

23. You really should try to think through what you meant when you wrote "A ticklish samurai" on the back of a checkstand receipt from a supermarket.

24. What is the thing you would be least willing to be allergic to?

25. If you did not make so many lists, would you get more writing done?

26. If you did not make lists or write notes, would you be a neater person?

27. Is it a sign of promiscuity to have as many pads of paper as you do?

28. If you got more writing done, it wouldn't make you a better person, would it?

29. Is being a better person over rated?

30. Would you have more free time if you were a nicer person?

31. What one thing would you have to give up if you were a nicer person?

32. If you had more free time, would you compile more lists?

33. Have you ever plagiarized a list?


R.L. Bourges said...

22 - printing ink and paper

24 except, the ONE THING you need to remember is always part of the elusive 20%

27 - probably a displacement activity

33 - you know what (slow, horrid realization)... I probably have...

Smiler said...

The thing about having a neat desk is it just BEGS to be messed up, and you put one thing out of place and SHAZAM! It's messy. Whereas with a messy desk, you put something in the right place, you put something in the wrong place, who cares?

Being a nice person doesn't get you anything. As a matter of fact, if someone tries to be a nice person thinking it'll earn them karma points or that they'll be more likeable or something, it instantly makes them a nice person with ulterior motives, and then you can't really call them nice anymore, can you?

lowenkopf said...

We now have enough momentum for a messy desk, what-you-see-is-what-you-get-personality blog. Your next meme: candidates for invitations to said blog.

I've long believed that a neat desk was the sign of a warped personality. I think Milne had it when he spoke of a bear "with very little brain."