Friday, April 15, 2011

Interview #3

Interviewer:  Would we be getting off to a rocky start by asking how accurate your third husband's assessment was of you being his purgatory?

WoB:  We'd be on better ground if you got your numbers straight.  That was my fourth husband.  Dramatic sort to the very end.

Interviewer:  And wasn't it at his funeral that you met your fifth husband?

WoB:  Jankyn, you mean.  Actually, I'd been carrying on a flirt with him while number four was still alive and kicking, although kicking is perhaps not particularly apt.  Could not get that man to--how much leeway do we have here?

Interviewer:  Go ahead.

WoB:  Could not get that man to toss much of anything beyond dice and his cookies, if you get my drift.  No way I could lure him into throwing me a toss, if, once again, you get my drift.

Interviewer:  And Jankyn?

WoB:  Hoo boy.  All the difference in the world.  Trick is to find 'em young, get their attention with some kitchen stuff, feed them up, then--

Interviewer:  We get your drift.  How did you get chosen to have such a stellar role in The Canterbury Tales?  Didn't that come as a surprise to you?

WoB:  Piece of cake, really.  The old boy needed some razzmatazz, if you get my drift.  Some of the dudes he picked were, well, what you might call out of the game.  Story has to have some racy parts.  For all the action Jankyn--number five, don't you know--for all the action jankyn is getting, you'll note I had to tear a girlie mag out of his hands, get him to take a look at me.  You see, I not only give Jankyn what he needs, I give the old boy, old Geoff, what he needs too,which is a little--we still got leeway?

Interviewer:  Still good to go.

WoB:  There was some titillation in that Miller's Tale, well enough, what with it being a true and accurate account of life and all, but old Geoff, he needed the real deal, and so he, well, he dreamed me up, and so I gave him what was pretty much a role model.  Knocked the crap out of that Cressyde he come up with.  Didn't do much better when old Shakespeare took her up, either.  No, I gave old Chaucer the best seller list, ever since I came out.  And my secret.  I mean, come on, Sex and the City.  I gave old Chaucer the only way to romp.  Look at it, kiddo.  Still working, six, seven hundred years.

Interviewer:  What is your secret?

Wife of Bath:  Well, sir, the first four times, I did it for money or social advantage, maybe even a touch of both.  But the fifth time?

Interviewer:  The fifth time?

Wife of Bath:  Shoot, I done it for love.  I married Jankyn purely for love. And he knowed it, too.

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